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Me: Would it be okay if I married a Jewish boy?
Yiayia (granny in Greek): As long as he’s not practising.

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@JFK, waiting for the plane to Istanbul. Boarding announcement is made. The boarding process is done as firstly business, then economy. It begins: “Business class are invited now.”
However, everyone jumps up to the gate, including economy at that moment.
Me: God d*mn, what is the rush for?
Mom: Get used to this again, you are going back home…

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• “When he (speaking of a female) first see him, his (speaking of same female) tongue was, how you say?”
• “Tied?”
• “How you say the tied?”
• “Tied!”
• “How you say the tongue is not”
• “Tied”
• “No, when the tongue is not”
• “Tied”
• “How you say the tiiied?”
• “Tongue Tied”
• “Okay, her tongue tied.”
  -Father repeating a story

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Russel Peters: “I always thought that Christmas was in the evening on the 26th because my parents would go out for boxing day specials”…“you think Santa can get around the world so quickly!?”

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Everytime we eat out at a non-desi restaurant, this is what my dad says:

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My Jewish mother forwards me this picture for Chinese New Year. I honestly couldn’t stop laughing!

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