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1.00 AM Eastern time
Turkish student calls home in Turkey, where it is 8.00AM
Boy: Good morning dad!
Dad: Good morning my son, how are you
Boy: Dad, I am about finish my homework and sleep, what r u talking about?
Dad: Ah, good nite then. GTFO. Stop being a jerk.
Boy: ??!!!

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Me

Yiayia, I want to invite my friend over for dinner one night, you promise not to make fun of him because he’s gay?

Grandma

Why do you want bring gay people over to our house? You shouldn’t hang out with them.

Me

Why? He’s really nice!

Grandma

You could catch it.

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On the phone in college:
Mom: So have you met any nice girls?
Me: Well actually I have sort of started dating this one girl.
Mom: Oh…?
Me: Yea she’s really nice, we’ve gone out a few times.
Mom: Oh… so you like her?
Me: Yes of course, that’s why I’m going out with her.
Mom: That’s good.
Me: …
Mom: …
Me: …
Mom: Well is she Jewish???

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Dad
“Many of girls grow up earlier (it means older) about 3 – 5 years than boys and it
not a better choice for boy to find a same age or oldr female as his partner acoording
to Chinese FengShui’s balance”
Translation: Dad does not approve of my GF

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The footer from my Dad’s last “lecture” e-mail.
……..
Love,
Dad
P.S: I crected some mistakes for last draft.

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Dad: I am gonna smack the frijoles out of jou if jou don shutcho taco hole. Comprende my fren?

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